magicconchshell:

when i check my activity on tumblr i feel like the ceo of a failing company 

legolokiismighty:

i would hire him for this flyer alone

“What a beautiful wedding.”

the bridesmaid (to the waiter)

Bold what applies to you

pezzabum:

cumonmeclifford:

1. had sex.

2. bought condoms.

3. gotten pregnant.

4. failed a class.
5. kissed a boy.
6. kissed a girl.
7. used a little paper bag for lunch.
8. had a job.

9. slipped on ice.
10. missed the school bus.
Total So Far: 6/100


11. left the house without my wallet.
12. bullied someone on the internet.
13. sexted.

14. had sex in public.
15. played on a sports team.

16. smoked weed.
17. smoked cigarettes.

18. smoked a cigar.
19. drank alcohol.

20. watched “The Breakfast Club”
Total So Far: 12/100

21. been overweight.
22. been underweight.

23. had an eating disorder.
24. been to a wedding.

25. made fun of someone for being fat
26. been on the computer for 5 hours straight.

27. watched tv for 5 hours straight.

28. been late for work.

29. been late for school.
30. kissed in the rain.
Total So Far: 18/100



31. showered with someone else.

32. failed my drivers test.
33. ran a mile in less than 10 minutes.

34. been outside my home country.

35. been on a road trip longer than 5 hours.

36. had lice.

37. gotten fired.

38. had a credit card.
39. been to a professional sports game.

40. broken a bone.
Total So Far: 22/100

41. been unhappy about my weight.

42. won a trophy.

43. cut myself.

44. had an STD.

45. got engaged.
46. been on a diet.
47. tried out to be on a tv show.

48. rode in a taxi.

49. been to prom.
50. played a drinking game.
Total So Far: 26/100

51. stayed up for 24 hours or more.

52. been to a concert.

53. had a three-some.
54. had a crush on someone of the same sex.

55. been in a car accident.

56. had braces.
57. learned another language.

58. killed an animal.

59. been at a yard sale.

60. been to a japanese steakhouse.
Total So Far: 31/100

61. wore make up.

62. talked to someone via webcam.

63. lost my virginity before I was 16.

64. had my wisdom teeth taken out.
65. kissed someone I didn’t like.

66. snuck out of the house.

67. bought porn.
68. had a virus on my computer.
69. had oral sex.

70. dyed my hair.
Total So Far: 36/100

71. gone skinny dipping.

72. graduated from college.

73. wore someone else’s clothes.

74. voted in a presidential election.
75. rode in an ambulance.

76. rode in a helicopter.
77. caught the stove on fire.

78. got in a fight.

79. met someone famous.

80. been on vacation.
Total So Far: 40/100

81. been on an airplane.

82. been on a boat.

83. broken something expensive.
84. had surgery.

85. kissed someone before I was 14.

86. beat a video game.
87. found something valuable on the ground.

88. made a survey.
89. stalked someone on facebook/myspace.

90. prank called someone.
Total So Far: 48/100

91. been to a library outside of school.

92. spent over $100 shopping in one day.
93. cut my hair and hated it.

94. peed outside.

95. went fishing.

96. helped with charity.

97. taken a pregnancy test.
98. been rejected by a crush.

99. been suspended from school.
100. broken a mirror.
Grand Total: 56/100

lizawithazed:

sometimes you see a pun so artfully constructed you just have to stand back in awe.

sempiternalink:

I can’t believe drawing a black line across my eyelids makes me feel 10x prettier.

destielsrainbowdick:

morlarty:

IF YOU GET STABBED DON’T FUCKING REMOVE THE KNIFE THE KNIFE IS KEEPING THE BLOOD INSIDE OF YOU IF YOU TAKE IT OUT YOU’LL BLEED OUT AND DIE.

however if you’re trying to kill someone DON’T FUCKING LEAVE THE KNIFE THE KNIFE IS KEEPING THE BLOOD INSIDE OF THEM IF YOU TAKE IT OUT THEY’LL BLEED OUT AND DIE.